


Alone In This Bed

by Pikachunicorn



Category: X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-05
Updated: 2014-10-05
Packaged: 2018-02-19 23:50:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2407430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pikachunicorn/pseuds/Pikachunicorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh struggles to cope with what happened to Kevin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alone In This Bed

**Author's Note:**

> Super short one shot inspire by 'Alone in This Bed' by Framing Hanley. Set a few months after 'that incident' with the X-Force.

Josh looked down at his golden skin, the way it sparkled in the moonlight that forced its way through the window. He was sat bolt upright, his skin covered in a thin layer of sweat after awaking from a nightmare. The same nightmare he always had. And, as usual when he awoke from that nightmare, it seemed that a little more black blotted across his previously flawless skin. His breathing was shaky, his heart rate heightened dramatically and he could feel the familiar lump rise in his throat.

Closing his eyes, he took deep, steadying breaths in an attempt to calm himself. But the images took his mind - the memories, the _pain_.

"No... Stop..." He moaned, pushing the heels of his hands against his eyes in an attempt to block the images. And, to his surprise, for a moment, it worked. But then his own pleas for escape from the memories merged into those memories. He heard a voice. The voice of the boy he had killed. The words that were spoken moments before he murdered the only boy who understood him.

_‘What's happening? How... How is this-’_ The voice echoed, sending shocks of pain through his heart. _‘No! No! Josh, stop-’_

"Please..." He begged to the empty room. "I can't-"

Releasing a slight whimper, he fell back and pushed his face into his pillow. _Why does it hurt so much?_ He questioned himself. _It was just self-defence. He was trying to- I didn't mean to- I never wanted to-_

Looking up at the ceiling he allowed the tears to roll down his cheeks, listening to his own wavering breaths. He bit his lip and closed his eyes in a futile attempt to suppress any more tears. It didn't work. Nothing ever worked when he had this dream.

Pushing the tears from his cheeks, he stood from the bed and made his way slowly over to the windowsill, where he sat, staring out into the star-filled sky.

"Kevin?" He whispered, looking up to the brightest star. "I hope you can hear me. I don't know who else to talk to."

Dropping his head, he hugged his knees to his chest and cried quietly.

"I'm so sorry. I can't- I never wanted this. I just wish you were here. I wish I could see you, touch you, tell you how much I regret what I did." Allowing his eyes to glance up at the sky again, he watched as the stars blurred together when his tears clouded his vision.

"Can't you come home somehow?" He begged. "Make a deal with someone up there? I dunno, just come back. Please? I just want to hear your voice tell me how much I annoy you once more. I can't do this without you. I can't even hide how much loosing you breaks my heart, it shows on my skin. Kevin, I-" his voice caught as he pushed to say the words, causing his voice to drop to an almost inaudible volume. "I love you."


End file.
